Tuesday, 16 June 2015

Do Children get Weighed Down by Over Expectations of Parents?


The straightforward answer to this question is yes. Parents rear not only their children, but also expectations from them. The benchmark of expectations keeps on increasing each year. This often perplexes the children and they are forced to strive hard to meet these growing expectations under parental pressure. Moreover, the children don’t get a chance to express their views on their expectations. On the contrary, children are forced to work in the direction shown by their parents due to the societal pressure. This often leads to the destruction of whatever remnants of creativity retained in them. 

parental pressure

Parental Pressure on Children

Children become the race horses at the hands of their parents. Most often, the parents bet on their wards’ future at their workplace with their peers. In order to keep the word, parents scold or even beat the children at home, citing the peers who are doing well in their studies. When comparison is made, the children are forced to try hard to get nice marks. This backfires sometimes when children fail to cope up with pressure in their academics. In this aspect, both parents and the teachers are the culprits. There have been reports of suicides and suicide attempts on the eve of annual examination every year. The strong-willed children come successfully out of these trying times and score good marks. On the other hand, not so strong children succumb to the pressure and fare badly in the examinations. Most often, these children fail to recollect whatever they have studied due to the mental tension, not because they are bad at studies. The parents don’t want to gauge the ability of their wards as they become obsessed with the competitions with the neighbours and peers at the workplace. Due to this reason, most often children don’t get a chance to fully blossom into a budding talent.

societal pressure

Way Forward

Every individual has innate qualities that need to be reared and channeled. The parents should identify what their wards are good at by sitting and interacting with them. The wishes of parents should give way to the aspirations of the children. Son of an engineer need not become another engineer. He could even become a writer. This needs to be borne in mind by the parents. If this approach is taken, the talents of the children could be identified early in life and properly reared to make him or her creative individual. Otherwise, the children become too timid and more dependent on their parents. In the formation stage itself the child needs to be given freedom to think independently.  It cannot come in a day or two. It has to be slowly developed under the parental supervision. If this is done with care, the children would become fearless and independent.

listen to children