Introduction
In a society where we see a lot of successful marriage,
there are aberrations that invariably lead to unhappy separations as well. Many
of the couples walk a lot of journey together and become party to every stage
that comes into their lives. Together they would have produced children, moved
from rented to own houses, helped the relatives pass through difficult times or
even passed through the lean times together with or without getting the help
from friends and relatives. Then there would have times one supported the other
when he or she changed jobs for better pastures. Thus, they would have come
across many testing times when they sailed together safely. In case of failed
marriages, there would have been times one partner tried to hook wink the other
in the bad times, forcing other to move away, snapping the sacred institution
of the marriage. Hence, one needs to know the basic lessons the
institution of marriage teaches him or her.
- Dealing with Expectations: During the initial part of the marriage life, the woman would have lots of expectations from her spouse and vice versa. During these times, the married couple would seem to live by the unwritten and unheard of contract. Each one would do the same extent of job as the other. At certain times, one partner would have fallen short of the expectations, forcing the other to walk the extra mile. That is when the true meaning of relation is measured in an institution of marriage.
- Standing by Partner During Testing Times: The life becomes as romantic as those of the newly married couples when the situations are congenial and everything was falling into place. The real test comes when there are testing times like when one partner loses his close relatives or suffers a financial setback. During those times, the partner undergoing the mental trauma expects the other to give moral and physical support, rather than quarreling on the petty things like ego clashes or one-upmanship.
- Comparison Kills Relationships: Each person is part and parcel of his immediate surroundings. The way each approaches various matters would be different. Hence, it is not good to make a blind comparison about the friends and other relatives as it kills whatever joy and warmth in the relation. The performance as perceived by others is what can be seen from outside. There could be more in it than what meets the eyes. That is making such comparisons in life sulks the marriage relations.
- Quarrel Management: Since the marriage is a kind of adjustment, the quarrels are bound to remain in it. Each time the quarrel tries to spin out of control, one of the partners should give it up, forcing the other to keep quiet and brood over its reason. Later, when the partner cools down, he or she can be reasoned to toe the line the other has chosen. This comes into picture when the relatives come into the picture. When the parties are quarreling, giving support to one, leaving the other, would flare up the situation. Hence, the immediate response is to desist from quarreling. Approaching this way is seen to save marriages in various situations, though some people would tend to disagree with that.
- Mutual Give and Take: The major premise of the institution of marriage is two-way help. It would be more appreciated if one partner gives more away for the other when the latter is passing through some lean patches in his or her life. The real love is counted there. In other situations, they can seek and give assistance to the other so that major situations in their lives can be handled together successfully.
